Monday, May 06, 2002

 
MALCONTENTS MAKE ME LOOK AVERAGE by Herman Civils

CHAPTER 3
(Allen is sitting in front of Dr. Winger, a clinical pyschologist. This is Allen's first visit.)

Dr. Winger - Tell me Allen, again, what it is that got you reading this Parenting magazine.
Allen - I went to the doctors office in late '93, and I couldn't find the Wall Street Journal that I usually read. So, I picked up the Parenting magazine, September 1993 as I recall, and at first I just flipped through it. But towards the end I kept seeing more and more baby pictures and it was just...hypnotizing.
Dr. Winger - Uh hmm. What was hypnotizing about it?
Allen - Well they were babies and they were just so cute. They have little feet and little hands and (giggles) little noses. It was just so precious, I had to read the thing.
Dr. Winger - Ok. (writes something) Did you read the whole magazine or just parts?
Allen - At first, I just read the big articles, you know. Just the ones about car seat dangers, and what to do when going hiking, stuff to bring and all that. Just the big articles at first.
Dr. Winger - Well that's not too bad. There's nothing wrong with that.
Allen - I skipped the apointment doc. I just ran out with that magazine in my coat and I ran to the bookstore to find some more copies.
Dr. Winger - Well (pause and writes something) Let's try something. Imagine yourself on a beach, you like beaches?
Allen - Sure.
Dr. Winger - Ok, imagine yourself on a beach, are you there?
Allen - (closes his eyes) Yeah.
Dr. Winger - You're on the beach and the waves are sort of calm and they wash onto shore and back out again. You're sitting in the sand just watching the sun go down. It's beautiful Allen, red's, violet's, orange's. It's very serene and calm.
Allen - And I have a Parenting magazine in my hand!
Dr. Winger - No Allen, that's the -
Allen - (ignores Dr. Winger completely) Issue number 8, volume 9! The one with the August Valencio baby on the cover! (happy)
Dr. Winger - No Allen, there are no Parenting magazines on the beach.
Allen - What? (frantic)
Dr. Winger - You do not have a Parenting magazine with you. There are no Parenting magazines anywhere.
Allen - How? How could that be? I carry at least twelve with me every where I go? How! How could that be?!
Dr. Winger - Calm down Allen, get a hold of yourself.
Allen - NO! I have to find them! I have to get one so I can read it! I'll read it to Kirsten like I always do! There must be one somewhere! (Allen runs out the door in a frantic hurry)
posted by BC 3:07 PM

Sunday, May 05, 2002

 
MALCONTENTS MAKE ME LOOK AVERAGE by Herman Civils

CHAPTER 2
(Allen and Kirsten are walking into the front door of their apartment.)

Kirsten - (enter through the front door) No, I'm not saying that, that's not what I meant. What I'm saying is that this has got to stop.
Allen - But I've joined a group.
Kirsten - I know Allen, and that is great. It really is. It's a real big step for you and I'm very proud, but I can't keep paying bail like this.
Allen - I know, but I'm getting better.
Kirsten - Allen! This is the sixth infant you have stolen this year! You are not getting better.
Allen - But I'm trying! (starts to cry)
Kirsten - (hugs Allen) I know, I'm sorry, I really am. I'm sorry Allen, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that.
Allen - (in between sobs) I have a problem that I (sob) am trying to fix.
Kirsten - (pause) Maybe you should see a doctor.
Allen - Will that make me better?
Kirsten - I don't know, but it certainly couldn't hurt.
Allen - There are some guys at work who say that their shrink really helps them.
Kirsten - Well maybe we should find you one then, ok?
Allen - Ok.
Kirsten - Would you do what the doctor told you? Take the medicine? Go to therapy and all that? Would it be worth your time and mine?
Allen - Yes. (pause) Would I have to give up the magazines?
Kirsten - I don't know.
Allen - NO! I won't give up my magazines! I love my magazines!
Kirsten - Allen, get a grip! No one is taking your magazines...yet. Besides, you want to get better don't you?
Allen - Yes, but my magazines (starts to cry) my magazines are all that I have.
Kirsten - (starts to cry) Just your magazines? (pause) Just those crummy old Parenting back issues? That's all you have?
Allen - Yes! Don't you see? I can't be without them.
Kirsten - Can you be without me? Huh? Without your wife?! Huh Allen? Your wife who loves you despite the several arrests! Despite the ridicule I get at work! Despite the room full of Parenting magazines stacked to the ceiling! (sobbing) Despite my barren (sob) uterus! (falls to the ground sobbing)
Allen - (falls in front of her and kisses her cheek) What have I done? (crying) What have I done?!
posted by BC 5:17 PM