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All scenes are copy written, so don't copy me, by Herman Civils 2002. Any profit made for producing any scenes publicly must be noted, as Herman Civils deserves a portion of the profits. Do not pass this off as your own. It's not yours.
Saturday, May 04, 2002
I thought you might enjoy these ---> llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
MALCONTENTS MAKE ME LOOK AVERAGE by Herman Civils
CHAPTER 1
(Allen is joining Addicts Anonymous, a support group for those addicted to "things." Today is his first day.)
Allen - Hello.
Group - Hello.
Allen - My name is Allen and I am addicted to Parenting magazine.
Group - Hello Allen.
Mr. Foster - Good Allen. Now, tell us more. Share with us.
Allen - (pause) Ok. Um...
Mr. Foster - Allen, we are all friends here. Do not be ashamed. We all have our vices.
Allen - Ok. (pause) Uh, geez, um...ok. I am addicted to Parenting magazine. (pause) I am twenty three and I'm addicted to Parenting magazine. I have no children, no wife, not even a girlfriend, and yet I find an addictive joy in reading a magazine featuring articles about how to tell if your child has an ear infection. (pause) For three years I've been like this. Three strung out years of my life, and I can't cope with it anymore. After work, hell sometimes even during work, I'll get out a new issue, or maybe even a classic '86 or '91 and I'll read it front to back. I'll read all the adverts, all the fine print, all the letters, all the classifeilds. I can tell you the names of all the cover babies. I can tell you the Parenting Magazine's Top Choice for breast pump in 1984. I have room soley dedicated to my collection, err, I mean, addiction. I have fourteen supscriptions, all under different names and all to the same address. I have every special insert, every special issue, every back issue starting from 1978, except of course the illusive January '83. (pause and cries) I'm sorry (sobbing) I'm sorry. I promised myself that I would come here and (sobs) keep it together, but I (sob) just (sob) can't! (cries)
Mr. Foster - (gets up and consoles Allen) There there now Allen. You are allowed to cry here. Do not be ashamed of these feelings because they are what make you who you are. (pause) What you don't realize is that you have made a very big step today. Aren't you proud of Allen today group?
Group - Yes.
Mr. Foster - See Allen, we've been where you are. We know what you're going through.
Allen - (cleans himself) Ok, I know, I know, and thank you.
Mr. Foster - Now, is there more you'd like to share?
Allen - (pause) Well, I'm not a sicko!
Mr. Foster - Yes we know. No one here is a sicko. Thank you Allen. You've taught us all an important lesson. Thank you.
Things are really dry here. Did you know what I'm saying?
