Thursday, January 24, 2002

 
Lumped In
by Herman Civils

Michelle Branch - Seventeen year old pop star. Has put out a CD, entitled, "The Spirit Room"
Mikey Bronson - Seventeen year old boy, winner of the "Day with Michelle" contest.
Jeff Rabham - Twenty something manager to Michelle Branch.


Jeff: Ok, Michelle, this is Mikey Bronson, he is the winner of the "Day with Michelle contest.
Michelle: (holds out her hand to Mikey) Hey Mikey, congratulations.
Mikey: (shakes her hand) Wow. Thanks.
Jeff: Well, I'll leave you two alone until it's time for the show to start, which will be about an hour. Call me if you need me Michelle.
Michelle: (to Nigel) Thanks Nigel.

EXIT Nigel

Michelle: (smiles) So, Mikey, how are you?
Mikey: (nervous) I have to admit, I'm pretty nervous. I mean, you are...are beyond words.
Michelle: (walks to a cabinet) Oh Mikey, don't be nervous. I'm a pretty normal girl. (opens cabinent) I just happen to play guitar. Now, (pulls out a liquor bottle) what'll you have? Bourbon all right?
Mikey: (surprised) Huh?
Michelle: You do drink don't you?
Mikey: Yeah, er, well, I did once. But that was with my parents on New Years Eve and it was just a sip. (pause) Aren't you a little young to be drinking?
Michelle: I'm seventeen Mikey. (pours out three shots) Just because I play pop music dosen't mean I can't have some fun. Now, come on, you're going to have a shot with me, I don't care what you say. (walks to the couch with three shot glasses and sets them down on the coffee table) Come on, sit down with me.
Mikey: (smiles brightly) Thank you (sits beside Michelle on the couch)
Michelle: Now, you have this one (pushes a glass to Mikey) and these will be mine. (takes a shot) Drink up.
Mikey: (takes a shot) Ughhhhhh (disgusted)
Michelle: (laughs) I know how you feel (takes the other shot) Ahhhhhhh. Whew. How was it?
Mikey: It was weird. It burned my throat.
Michelle: (laughs) Yeah, it'll do that the first few times. (smiles and pause) Can I call you Mike?
Mikey: (smiles) You can call me whatever you want. Only my parents call me Mikey anyway.
Michelle: Ok, Mike. (pause) How old are you?
Mikey: I'm seventeen.
Michelle: Wow, so we have something in common. You have a car?
Mikey: Yeah, a Pathfinder.
Michelle: Oh cool. Wow, that's really cool car. I wish I was at home long enough to have a car.
Mikey: You don't like touring.
Michelle: No, no I love touring. It is sooooo awesome. I get to see all these places, and meet people. Most them are record company assholes and media nazis, but everyone once in a while I get to meet cool people like you.
Mikey: (stunned) Like...like me?
Michelle: (laughs) Come on Mike, yes, yes you're cool, I can tell. You took that shot like a man. You know whats going on.
Mikey: (stunned pause) You...you...you have no idea what that means to me.
Michelle: Mike, calm down, I'm just a girl who plays a guitar.
Mikey: I know, but it's just your music is so cool. I wish I could be more open about it around kids at school. (laughs) I'd die if they caught me at this concert.
Michelle: Because people see my music as mainstream teeny-pop bullshit?
Mikey: (shyly) Yeah, I guess.
Michelle: (stern) Look, you go back to school and you tell those fudge packers to kiss your fucking ass. I gaurentee those shit bags have at least one Britney CD or some NSync horse shit in their cars, fucking shit faces. (sighs) I know that people think that, and it's bull shit. It's not my fault I have video on MTv. It's not my fault I'm representing a lot of the girls out their who don't give a fuck about making the fucking cheerleading squad. Just because I happen to fit a marketable image dosen't mean I'm in the same boat as Justin Assfuckinlake.
Mikey: (excitedly) I know, I know, that's what I've been saying all along! That's exactly it!
Michelle: (smiles) Finally, some one gets it. (reaches into a nearby booksack) It's been a long time since I've told someone that.
Mikey: (smiles) I'm honored. Really, I am.
Michelle: (pulls out a little packet of coke) Thank you Mike. (gets out a mirror and a razor from her book sack) It's people like you who make me want to go on and play those god damn radio shows. It's shit like that where all these assumptions get started. Because I play a concert with some fucking Christina Aguleria bull shit, means I'm just like her. By the way, Christina was pregnant two months ago.
Mikey: (laughs) Really?
Michelle: (sets the mirror down and opens the packet with the razor onto the mirror) I'm not lying. Some janitor in Memphis knocked her up. That RU486 shit didn't work and she had to get an abortion. (starts cutting and lining the cocaine)
Mikey: (Laughs) That's not as surprising as one would think. (stares at the coke) Is that pure?
Michelle: Shit, it's as good as I could get around here.
Mikey: Cool. I think I've got a dollar (searches his pockets)
Michelle: (smiles and stares at Mikey) See Mike, this is why I started singing in the first place. Here I am, sharing a good time with a nice guy, and then I'm going to do what I love, and play the guitar in front of thousands of people. (pause) Thank you.
Mikey: (smiles and hands her a dollar) I'm amazed. Thank you, Michelle.
Michelle: Ooo, I love the way you say my name.
Mikey: You're too kind, really.
Michelle: (sets out four lines) Two for you, two for me, ok? (smiles)
Mikey: (smiles) Ok, you first.
Michelle: (takes the dollar bill and rolls it up) Thank you Mike (kisses him on the cheek and hits a line) Now you.
Mikey: (stunned) Thanks (hits a line and passes the dollar)
Michelle: Good isn't it? (hits a line) WOO! (passes the dollar)
Mikey: God, this is the best stuff I've ever had (hits a line) Wow.
Michelle: (laughs and stands up) Come on, let's dance.
Mikey: (stands up) Ok (takes her as to slow dance)
Michelle: This is nice isn't it?
Mikey: Yeah (laughs)
Michelle: What?
Mikey: Nothing.
Michelle: (laughs) What?
Mikey: Nothing. I'm just dancing with fucking Michelle Branch.
Michelle: Awww. Would you kiss Michelle Branch?
Mikey: Pshhh yeah! Hell yeah, but-
Michelle: (interupts Mikey with a passionate kiss) That's great.
Mikey: (smiles, long pause) You know in your song, "You Get Me?"
Michelle: (smiles) Yeah?
Mikey: You say (sings softly) "You get me / when nobody understands" (pause) That's how I feel.
Michelle: Well, you know, in that same song (sings softly) "You've seen my secret garden / where all my flowers grow?"
Mikey: Yeah?
Michelle: (whispers) That's what I want to say after we fuck (smiles)
Mikey: When? Here?
Michelle: Here. Now.
Mikey: (pause) I would love nothing more.
Michelle: Yeah?
Mikey: Yeah.

Mikey lays Michelle on the couch and they proceed to make love.


There is prejudice everywhere we look. No matter how many laws we make, there will always be prejudice somewhere in the world. Though racial prejudice in America seems to have been on a decline since the early seventies, it's really not. The whitey's of the world have just learned to hide it better so they can seem humble. Today's lesson is not as serious as racial prejudice, however, it deals with prejudice nonetheless. In our day and age, we have come upon a period of monotonus pop music saturation. We can't take a piss without having to think about excuses for getting caught watching the Britney Spears HBO Special ("The remote ran out of batteries!" "My cousins came over and left it on that channel!" "I was trying to watch the Soprano's!" Fuck it, none them hold up) With such a strong presence in everyday life, we are eager to see the new and judge them harshly (until you buy their CD, and then it's ok, right? You're really sick) When Michelle Branch's album dropped August 18, 2001, people across the nation were eager and non-hesitant to assume this was just another teeny bopper. People would line up and buy tickets to her concerts in disgust, kids were buying her CD's out of resentment, losers were voting for her video on TRL just out of pity. It's so easy to assume that because someone may be young, attractive, and has a video on TRL, that they're just another Britney. Or an Aguleria. Or a Shakira (god help us). It's easy, because that's what we have done for years now, just labeling whose pop and whose not. My friends, just as in the sixties, we are facing a time of turmoil and misunderstanding. You have to look past what you've assumed and judge for yourself. Call this a new awakeing, or, call this fucking common sense. Decide for yourself! Tell society and all the marketing nazis to kiss your ass and decide for yourself who is your favorite. DO NOT let Carson tell you a damn thing! The point is, Michelle has been wrongly accused. She is not a pop star because she has a hit video; she is a pop star because her music shapes and molds your soul. She plays her own fucking guitar! She wrote every fucking song herself! She has the voice of a million angels singing in perfect harmony! Let this play guide you and see the fucking light. I'm sure that most of you will learn something. And if none of these play's teach you nothing, let this one teach you something.

Side Note: I mean no harm to Michelle Branch in the writing of this play. There is a part where Michelle is seen drinking. Now, I have no idea if she likes bourbon. She might prefer vodka, or a whiskey soda, or my least favorite, a prison sex (vodka, rum, whiskey, whiskey, and lighter fluid). I don't know. There is another section in which she snorts two lines of cocaine. Again, she might prefer hallucinigens (marajuana, LSD, shrooms) or she might be a little wilder and might go for narcotics (heroin, morphine, methadone), or she might even prefer some uppers. And again, I don't know. I don't want you to assume that Michelle does any of the things portrayed in this play. Michelle, if you are reading, I'm sorry if I have hurt you. I mean nothing but to kill out this hateful predjudice.

For more information watch this video (click on "All You Wanted" video) and refer to this unofficial site, and this official site, both of which are extremely informative. Buy her album too.
posted by BC 2:30 AM

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

 
That's that. Did we learn somthing? Good.
posted by BC 12:05 PM

 
READ SCENE 1 FIRST!!!!!

SCENE 2
Ariana and Spencer are naked and sitting together at a table cutting lines of cocaine on a mirror.

Ariana: (watching Spencer cut out a line) So you guy's just do this shit in your offices?
Spencer: Yeah, so?
Ariana: Shouldn't ya'll be doin' some work an' shit?
Spencer: We do work. Sometimes we'll even do this in our committee meetings. After we work of course.
Ariana: How? You guy's are US representatives doing shit that's really illegal. You know what you guy's do to kids who do that shit on the streets? You take their fucking lives!
Spencer: (snorts a line) So? We're the government. There's a lot we get away with (laughs)
Ariana: I might be having second thoughts about you, now that I know you's a hypocrite.
Spencer: (laughs) Your turn. (hands her the rolled up dollar bill)
Ariana: (smiles and takes the bill) I'm serious (snorts a line and hands the bill back to Spencer)
Spencer: (smiles) I know you are (snorts a line) I love you though. (hands the bill to Ariana)
Ariana: (laughs and takes the bill) I love you too (kisses Spencer passionately and then snorts a line) Ahhhhh. (hands the bill back to Spencer)

Door opens violently to Ariana's room. Spencer get's up quickly. A large latin-american man stands in the door way with a .357 automatic.

Escobar: (points the gun at Spencer) You! You Spencer?
Ariana: (yells) ESCOBAR? WHAT THE FUCK?
Escobar: (to Ariana) Shut up bitch (to Spencer) What's your fucking name?
Spencer: Fuck you (gives him the middle finger)
Escobar: (shoots a half a round of twelve bullets into Spencer's chest) No, fuck you! Mother fucker!

Spencer falls to the floor dead.

Ariana: (cries) NO! SPENCER! NO! (goes to Spencer) No, no, no! Not my baby! (cries hysterically)
Escobar: That's for fucking around wit' that senator shit. You get your fuckin' head cleared up and you come the fuck back home, ya' heard me?
Ariana: (crying hysterically, whispers) Spencer Spencer. No, I love you. I love you!
Escobar: (points the gun at Ariana) You heard me bitch? You heard me?
Ariana: (crying) Why? Spencer I love you, I love you so much. I would have done it, everything. Wedding and all. I love you.
Escobar: I'm tired of this sentimental shit. (walks to Ariana) Come on (takes Ariana's arm) you're coming with me bitch.
Ariana: (reluctantly gets pulled up to her feet, cries) Spencer! I love you!
Escobar: (pulls her to the door) Shut the fuck up ok? Damn.
Ariana: (takes the gun out of Escobar's hand) I love you Spencer. (smiles)
Escobar: `Ey bitch, give that shit back!
Ariana: (smiles) I'll be there in a minute Spencer. I love you! (shoots herself dead)
Escobar: (drops Ariana) Oh shit. (long pause) Oh shit. (long pause) Oh shit! (runs out the door)
END SCENE
posted by BC 12:01 PM

 
This is my first multi-scene drama online, but it is still very concise. Don't let it frighten you and just act it out. It will make much more sense on stage.

Pigeon Holding Ariana
by Herman Civils

Rep. Spencer Michael Arronthall Jr. - US House Representative for New Hampshire's fourth district. Married to actress Mary Elizabeth Fairchild.
Ariana Saunders - Ex-prostitute and african-american lover to Spencer. Lives on 44th street in Washington DC.
Escobar Lorenzo - Pimp to Ariana and part time drug lord


SCENE 1
Ariana is sitting in a chair as Spencer stands by the door. Ariana is distraught over Spencer's sudden and unannounced appearence.

Ariana: How can you do that? How can you come here and tell me you love me? Do you know who you are?
Spencer: It's true, that's how. Every morning I wake up and I can't think of the people in the fourth district who are tired of boiling their water before they drink it. I can't think about the lobby for dyslexic children hounding me for support on the new educaiton bill. I can't even dial the number to call my wife and tell her I'm not going home this weekend. (pause and sigh) Ariana, I love you.
Ariana: (cries) You are-are a congressman! A god damn representative of the fucking citizens of fucking New Hampshire!
Spencer: So what? I love you.
Ariana: (still crying) You love me? I work at Popeye's frying chicken all day long, I come to a shit-hole apartment with roaches coming out of the fucking walls, and I have a fucking congressman who is in love with me. (sobs) I don't fucking get it.
Spencer: Look, this wasn't my plan. I didn't go to St. Andrews Academy, and Harvard, and Stanford, and Yale expecting to fall in love with you. I would have never guessed in a million years that you would be my one and only. No one could have predicted this. (pause) But I'm glad it's happened. I'm glad I finally know what true love is.
Ariana: (sobbing and to herself) This was supposed to be a fling.
Spencer: (laughs) I know.
Ariana: (long pause) You're married.
Spencer: So? You think she hasn't fucked around?
Ariana: Still, you're married.
Spencer: I married her out of politics, not out of love. I mean, how fucking sorry is that, having to marry someone for political status? It's a bunch of shit. (kneels down in front of Ariana) That's the beauty of us, Ariana. (brushes hair out of her eyes) Angel.
Ariana: (smiles with a tear in her eye) It's too complicated. (pause) I mean, I'm black.
Spencer: I could give a fuck what color you are. You are a fucking angel, and I love you (kisses Ariana)
Ariana: (pause) I love you (smiles and they embrace passionately as to have intercourse)
END SCENE
posted by BC 11:31 AM